Friday, May 7, 2010

7. SUMMERTIME!


Let me tell you where I write from. The bat cave. I have boarded myself up in my one bedroom apartment, backed into a corner on my bed. Ive left the lights off and blacked out the window light with a dark blue fleece blanket. The only light in the room, in my life, in this world now, is the one coming from this computer screen. The dim glow can barely illuminate me and the things around me; A wolf blanket. A bookshelf overhead. Six or Seven pillows, like old worn out bodies, slumped over and strewn across the bed and floor. And then there is me. And my anger.
Why am I angry? Its May 7th and its 49 degrees outside. I've tried so hard to be positive this year about the weather, checking the 10 day forecast consistently for signs of the coming summer. Each week it looks to be on the up and up, and each week I am disappointed. There have been a few days in the 70's and I appreciate them I do. However, its the middle of May now. I feel like a bear who awoke from his winter slumber too early, with no insulation to protect him from the cold, just an eager want for the warmth of a Utah summer night and a killer appetite. So folks, I've crawled back into my cave to artificially hibernate, to wait out the weather and I wont make the mistake of leaving for the outside world again until I can be certain that summer is in full swing. So until then I write. And in doing so I find it prudent to prepare you, like I am prepared, for the beautiful summer months that lay ahead. Welcome to Summertime 101.

1)Quit your job. It's easy. Ok so taking into account America's financial downturn you cant just quit your job but you can set yourself up for success like I have. And if its too late this year then you can sit on the bench this season and prepare for a wonderful summer next year. I work in the middle of the night. Its nice. Its quiet, peaceful, the streets are vacant, the town is sleeping, and I am a renegade passing through the thick night. I work on the weekends and some may see this as a bad thing. Yet I dont live my life by the rules of the majority. Who says I cant do weekend things Monday through Friday? I can do anything I want whenever I want. The only thing that suffers is my sleep schedule as I work 11pm - 9am Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. But, having adjusted to the deranged sleep schedule mostly, I have four days a week this summer to experience God's Inseason!
I cant imagine anything more torturous than a 9-5 job during June, July, and August. To be honest I cant imagine having a job like that period! Lets do the math shall we...

24 hours per day. 8 hours of work. 8 hours of sleep.

If you live by this formula you will waste two thirds of your life in unconsciousness! So please, for me, for you, for your children, figure out a way to celebrate the summer. I know not everyone can work thirty hours a week in the dead of night to free up their schedule. But there has to be something better than 9-5! Rise up, oh my pale faced Americans! Strip away your titles and your sweaters and pants for that matter, and cannonball into the pool of life!

2) This is what you must do during the summer:
......deeeppp breath......... swim.bike.run.drive.read.tan.grillout.BBQ.soccer. boat.love.kiss.kiss.spoon.fight.punch.fruitpunch.cruise.play.sing.dance.eat.eat.eat. chase.be chased.be chaste.party.sleep.tan.climb.kick.throw.hit.travel.tan.sightsee. experience.visit.revisit.pray.listen.test.dive.jump.fall.feel.cooldown.heatup.kiss. love.smile.think.smile.relax.forget.remember.havefun.smile.

This is summer. In a nutshell. Did I miss anything?

Don't be afraid to reward yourself for making it through another year and coming out the other side better. Thats what summer is for. I stay trapped in this cave now so that I can live the summer whenever it chooses to get here. And boy am I going to live it. I suggest you get out of that office, that restaurant, that basement apartment, and join me. Ill be there, will you?

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