Tuesday, June 22, 2010


If you send your kids to public schools or have been the product of one yourself, then you and your children have probably been subject to more than a few universally accepted lies. Lies such as...... There is no God, only evolution. Or there is no evolution, only God. Or gay people are born that way, feminine wrists and lisps and all. Or that it's ok to hate someone if it's for a good reason. Or that the point of life is to go to college and get a desk job so you can spend 2/3 of your life sleeping or sitting. Or that dinosaurs exist or existed. This last lie that I have mentioned is the one I would like to focus on today. Gather round children.

"I do dinosaurs better than you." I didnt start this post with this sentence because its gross and also because it doesnt make sense for a few reasons, the most important one being how can I do something better than you if it doesnt exist? Granted, Im so good at everything that if someone could be good at something that never existed.... rest assured it would be me. However this is not the case with dinosaurs.

I grew up learning all about them. All different types. T Rex, Velociraptor, bracciosaurus, littlefoot, pterodactyl. Not only have scientists come up with super huge and complicated names for these creatures, but they have uncovered ancient fossils deep in the earth's soils. With these fossil records they have used their magic science to determine the sex of certain fossils, eating habits, diet, emotional nature, cause of death, relationship and family order and structure, how many kids the fossil had when it was supposedly "alive". They would teach these things to me in class in elementary school right along with other things like "how I will die of AIDS if I have sex as a fifth grader". There is only one problem with these fascinating tid bits of archeology that were spoon fed to me. They are total crap.

I dont care if Im wrong. Ill still believe that dinosaurs never existed. Its a waste of time to think about what they were like or who they were or if they were anything at all or not. They have nothing to do with humans. We cant learn from them. We cant benefit from the knowledge we uncover about them. So they dont exist. I refuse to believe that some nerd in Southern Utah can tell the world that so and so -asaurus did this or that twenty minutes before volcanic ash wiped it and its tender loving family members off the earth. There is no way you can know that. Dinosaurs are a magical myth that accomplish a very important task in public schools. They allow the teacher to teach something interesting for once. Except looking back, its not interesting at all. Unless you have caught a T Rex on tape eating another dinosaur, they dont exist. Unless you have traveled through time in some "land of the lost" Ford SUV time traveling accident, or a phone booth with a TV antenna taped to the top, and have returned with a living breathing triceratops...... then that fossil you just uncovered is just a big ole Rhino with and etra horn. Dont try and church it up and tell me you know all about it. You dont. Youre guessing. And thats not science. Its not even interesting. Its lies and youre killing the poor children of America with your Dino deceit. Call it like it is guys. Dinosaurs are nothing more than a hoax.... just like global warming. And moon landings.

But if youre still left wondering why those fossils are still showing up and if dinosaurs didnt exist, what could those big things be. I have the answer. One word ya'll............


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